Dr. Lisa's Bountiful Life

Life's Longing

My son has returned from Guatemala, after six months away.

His younger sisters are thrilled. 

Beyond thrilled.

They hang on his every word as if he were a long awaited prophet from a distant land.

Words failed me tonight, as I watched my three children, reunited.

They teased one another, and filled my son in on the family events he has missed.

A starring role in the school play; a varsity lacrosse spot.

He reciprocated with tales of a Holy Week, spent traversing a Central American country.

He told of teaching seven-year-olds how to read at Safe Passage in Guatemala City, and tending bar at Mono Loco in Antigua

And playing baseball as the starting pitcher for a local all-star team, under the lights at the Guatemala National Stadium.

I sat quietly, enjoying the family dinner prepared for my son by his devoted sisters.

And felt, above all else, love.

Love for my children.

Love for the life that I have been blessed to share with them.

Love for the shaggy-haired traveller I picked up at the airport last week, whose compassion has earned him a place of honor in the hearts of many.

I was reminded of Gibran's quote, "Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself."

I know that this is so.

I know that this beautiful longing was wonderfully represented tonight.

 

Guatemala, 2011

 

 

Time Only

Five years ago my friend died.

Her life ended. My life shifted, dramatically.

My life had been in the process of shifting, but January 18, 2007 was a significant demarcation point, nonetheless.

It was the day I realized that there is no time to lose.

It was the day I realized that days spent unhappy are lost days.

It took me a long time to get to the place of believing this.

Forever I had been taught to accept what was. I had been taught that to ask for more would demonstrate ingratitude.

I knew that I was fortunate. I was grateful for my good fortune.

But I also knew that I could no longer accept what was.

Because in doing so, I was wasting time.

And time is ultimately all we have.

Until one day, like my friend Hanley,

we don't.

Guatemala City

2011

~~~~~

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Deliberation & Joy, Re-Entry

Before I left for Guatemala, I had tea with a friend who had herself visited the Safe Passage site several times. Jane, one of the foundational members of the group that created Our Daily Tread, had known our late friend Hanley Denning well.

Jane told me that "re-entry" after my trip might be interesting.

Which it has been.

It has been interesting to return to a land of relative peace and prosperity, knowing that I am a fortunate lass.

It has been interesting to return to the life I have cultivated for forty years, and realize that there are a few things I still need to change.

It has been interesting to return to my friends and family, feeling changed already.

The most interesting thing has been to remember what we originally wrote in Our Daily Tread in 2008: live with joy; live deliberately. Share what you have, and who you are, with others.

These words, printed the year after Hanley's death, continue to ring true. I know that I must continue to live each day as if it is the only one I have been given. Life, as my dearest one reminds me often, is not a dress rehearsal. Happiness and joy are within our grasp, if we keep this notion in mind.

At the same time, I am cognizant of the fact that I must continue to work deliberately toward the future. I have a radio show that is among the most important things I have ever done. I have patients I value highly. I have three children whom I call beloved.  I have countless friends and family members who enrich my life, daily. I know that even as I am enjoying the present, I must be making necessary changes to ensure the sustainability of my joy, and the joy of those around me.

Finally, I know now that in sharing what I have and who I am, I must be highly realistic about what I actually have to give. Guilty in the past of giving just about everything away to my own detriment, I no longer have that luxury.

I am just one woman. I do not need to save the world.

I simply need to show up. Be who I am. Treasure what I have been given.

Do what I can.

Be the best person I can be, at any given moment.

And if I stumble, or fall short of the expectations I have set for myself, treat myself the way that I attempt to treat others: with compassion and love.

These are my re-entry thoughts.

Life is simultaneously long and short. We must live deliberately, and with joy.

We must share of ourselves.

And we must continue to realize what a gift each day truly is.

 

Guatemala City 2011

 

Grocery Store Gratitude

A week ago, I was traipsing through the bustling Bodegona (grocery store) in Antigua, buying staples such as peanut butter and shampoo for my Guatemalan-living son.

Today I am back in Maine, having just completed a visit to our own local supermarket with my daughter.

The contrasts are stark.

Never having been one to enjoy grocery shopping, I can now say that I have little to complain about.

Our local store is a veritable Zen retreat center compared to the Bodegona. Bustling at all hours, at the Bodegona the narrow aisles are constantly crowded with shoppers. Spanish holiday music blares from every corner. The smell of fish, cheese, baked goods and industrial cleaning solutions mixes with the lingering scent of human sweat.

If there is an organizational system in place, one is hard-pressed to understand it. The dairy case is next to the Tupperware display, and shampoo wrestles for space with soda cases. One can find just about anything desired--from multi-colored marshmallows to color televisions.

Given that Guatemala is a third-world country, and poverty is prevalent, those who are able to shop at the Bodegona are a privileged lot.

As are those, like myself, who can return after a week to a country of relative wealth.

Those, like myself, who can return to a state with clean air and water.

Those, like myself, who are not asked to make a living by picking trash out of a dump.

It remains to be seen what longstanding impact my journey to Safe Passage in Guatemala will have upon my life.

At the very least, I know I am grateful for my own orderly grocery store, in my own beautiful state.

I am grateful for the opportunity to understand how bountiful my life truly is.

 

Guatemalan groceries

2011