I believe in love. Always have. 

And, though one might wonder if I had become jaded about this emotion, given my divorce, I most assuredly am not.

I believe in love, still. Perhaps even more than ever.

This past year, my family had two weddings.  I did not attend the first of these, for financial reasons. I regret this. 

I did attend the second of these. I do not regret this.

Both occurred as I was in the midst of restructuring my relationship with my former husband.

This restructuring caused me to think long and seriously about the nature of marriage.  

Why, after all, do we vow to commit our lives to another, if there is a chance that our love cannot sustain this vow?

How do we know if we have found "the right one?"

Where is the certainty in any of this?

The answer is: there is no certainty. We cannot know. Lives are both short and long.

Time, as Einstein postulated, is relative.

Love, I would postulate, is relative as well.

We can love someone sincerely, and believe that person will remain in our lives forever, only to come to the gut-wrenching realization that we can no longer make things work.

Have we stopped loving that person? Probably not. 

But love cannot always surmount the difficulties of circumstances. Sometimes the power of logistics can trump even the most dedicated love.

Sometimes, ironically, our love cannot exist within the bonds of marriage, and restructuring must occur.

Which doesn't mean we stop trying. 

It doesn't mean that stop believing in love.

As I watched my cousin marry his wife in a whimsical pan-religious New Orleans ceremony on 11/11/11, my life had been split wide open.

Having struggled through the legal challenges of divorce, it was hard to keep the blessed nature of matrimony in focus.

Marriage, I had found, had the potential to end in pain.

But love, I knew, made the commitment worth the attempt.

Life is a risk. Though we may seek stability, there is no safety here.

We are given the opportunity to love, which we may take or leave. 

Me? I will take love.

 

mi corazon

~~~~~

Dr. Lisa's Bountiful Blog is read on the Dr. Lisa Radio Hour & Podcast. Show summaries are available on the Dr. Lisa website. Subscribe to podcasts of the show through iTunes and let us know what you think.