I assumed that I would be easily able to bid my son goodbye, as he made his way once more to the Southern Hemisphere.
I assumed wrong.
Leaving my son at the Logan Airport curb in Boston was no less difficult than saying farewell when he left for Guatemala in September.
My heart broke yet again.
This was the first of many epiphanies to take place today: that we continue to have such depth of grief at the parting of our children, despite multiple opportunities for practice.
Returning home, I find the Wall Street Journal he left open on the couch, and a pile of his discarded clothes strewn across the laundry room floor. My tears well afresh with the knowledge that I will not see my son again for five months.
Grateful am I for the tears. It is a beautiful life I have, to know such love.
Grateful am I for the insights that rained down upon my being this January 6th--the Christian Feast of the Epiphany.
The Epiphany was the day that the Magi were said to have first encountered the Christ child. It also (according to Wikipedia) celebrates the "revelation of God the Son as a human being in Jesus Christ."
In other words, it is a day when things become manifest; when we perhaps realize something that has been previously hidden or forgotten.
In addition to my epiphanous understanding that we never stop feeling sadness when our children depart, I also had epiphanies of a more personal nature.
My Logan Airport sojourn reminded me of my never-flagging wanderlust; of the certain desire to continue my own world travels.
Later business meetings reminded me of my passion for my calling as a physician, writer and radio host.
Driving home in the snow reminded me of Maine's stark winter beauty, and why I live here, despite the dark and cold.
It was a day of rediscovery.
It was (another) day of heartbreak, and of gratitude.
It was a day of goodbyes and manifestations of love.
It was, indeed, a day of epiphany.
Riverside Cemetery, 2011
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